Jane Austen's take on lesbianism, masturbation, whoring, and other basic instincts[Phrases borrowed - without sense or sensibilities, with absolutely no pride or prejudice - from the writings of an elegant spinster]
On Lesbianism
How do you think I can live poking by myself, I who have been always used till this winter to have Charlotte with me.
The Gossip-Monger Mrs. Jennings; In Sense and Sensibility
On Masturbation
Astonished and shocked, she was almost ready to cry out, but checking her desire, confined herself to this silent ejaculation.
The Chatty Mrs. Jennings; In Sense and Sensibility
On Whorehouse Basics
Mrs. Goddard was the mistress of a school — not a seminary, or an establishment, or anything which professed, in long sentences of refined nonsense, to combine liberal acquirements with elegant morality, upon new principles and new systems — and where young ladies for enormous pay might be screwed out of health and into vanity — but a real, honest, old-fashioned boarding school, where a reasonable quantity of accomplishments were sold at a reasonable price.
In Emma
On Mating Rituals
To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.
In Pride and Prejudice
On Weather
One likes to get out into a shrubbery in fine weather.
Rich and Indolent Lady Bertram; In Mansfield Park
I intended to call on the Miss Biggs yesterday had the weather been tolerable.
Jane Austen in a Letter to her Sister Cassandra
What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.
Jane Austen in a Letter to her Sister Cassandra
On Interference
I am afraid I interrupt your solitary ramble?
The Crafty Wickham to Clever Elizabeth Bennet; In Pride and Prejudice
You certainly do, but it does not follow that the interruption must be unwelcome.
Elizabeth Bennet's Smart-Catty Reply to Wickham; In Pride and Prejudice
I told him of all that had occurred to make my former interference in his affairs absurd and impertinent.
A Different Mr. Darcy talking about meddling in his friend's love life, to a Different Ms. Elizabeth Bennett; In Pride and Prejudice
Interference is permissible, desirable and successful - when it is kindly meant.
Final sentence of Pride and Prejudice; recognizing the helpful interference of Nice and Good Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner in uniting Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy
I beg your pardon.....Excuse my interference. It was kindly meant.
Urbane, Snobbish, Arrogant, Accomplished and Sophisticated Ms. Caroline Bingley to Country Beauty Elizabeth Bennet; In Pride and Prejudice
On Private Book Collections
I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these.
Mr. Darcy, who is 'always buying books', on his 'delightful library at Pemberley' - 'the work of many generations'; In Pride and Prejudice
On Consequences of Unfettered Freedom
If you, my dear father, will not take the trouble of checking her exuberant spirits, and of teaching her that her present pursuits are not to be the business of her life, she will soon be beyond the reach of amendment.
A Concerned and Panicky Elizabeth Bennet to Careless and Irresponsible Mr. Bennet on the Wild Ways of Her Youngest Sister Lydia; In Pride and Prejudice
On Hopelessness
But don't despair, it will pass.
Shaken, But Not Chastened, Mr. Bennet to his remaining three daughters after his youngest has eloped with Wickham; In Pride and Prejudice
On the Inconstant Heart
My feelings are so different......In fact they are quite the opposite.
Love-Struck Elizabeth Bennet Ruminating on Mr. Darcy whose Proposal She had Earlier Rejected; In Pride and Prejudice
On Girly Tendencies
A girl likes to be crossed in love a little, now and then.
Mr. Bennet, Mumbling to his Daughters like a Callous, Insensitive Father - Which He Was; In Pride and Prejudice
On Common Sense
After having much praised or much blamed anybody, one is generally sensible of something just the reverse soon afterwards.
Jane Austen in a Letter to her Sister Cassandra
On Country Life
You would find it difficult, I dare say, just now, in the middle of a very late hay harvest, to hire a horse and cart.
Good, Righteous Edmund Bertram to Underserving-of-his-Love Ms. Crawford; In Mansfield Park
On Being Uncomfortable
Some minutes passed in this unpleasant silence.
Clever (and yet Foolish) Emma Woodhouse in Company With an Angry Mr. Knightley; In Emma
On the Very Portrait of Kitsch
..rich woman of inferior birth.
In Persuasion
2 comments:
Mayank,
Terribly interesting! However, if each of these subjects, on lesbianism, masturbation and others were dealt with separately, giving the reader a peek into her life and what fashioned her thoughts, I think it would be capitol. Still it gives a number of quotes from her books. Good work. It shows you have researched greatly.
Julia
Very very clever Mayank! Thanks for showing this to me, I had such a good laugh! Keep reading between the lines!
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